this guy keeps trying to hit it.

'the united states needs to stop disrespecting europe now.'

from a guy i never speak to or see, let alone text.

No one cares!

"I just ate a hamburger!"

-Sent from a girl who thought it was interesting/pertinent that she ate a hamburger. Poor girl, it was probably the only thing she ate all week!

Lesson Learned?

Creepy guy: Do you know what the stock market did today?
Me: Effing no!

Lesson 1: Do not send people that you barely know text messages about things that you could learn on your own from say, The Economist? This is not a valid excuse to talk to someone.
Lesson 2: Know who you are texting. For those of you who have ever met me, it would be quite clear that asking me about the current climate of the New York Stock Exchange is just a waste of time.

this is a note

"hey
thanks for the night and the bread
heres my number, if you want it"
-a note left by a man for a one night stand, before she awoke

first one

"just wanna say a quick hello to the cutesy tootsy lady"
-from a 39 year old man to a 25 year old woman whom he went on 2 dates with almost a month ago